Things I've learned this week...

1. In the US, when you toast someone, you say "Cheers".  In England, "Cheers" is thank you to the bus driver or barman.  When you toast someone here (at least in Manchester I'm told), you say "Chin chin!"  

2. Brits and Americans alike love that I'm from the South, although I'm pretty sure the Brits have a hard time understanding me.  All people know about Atlanta is that a) Coca-Cola was made there, b) they had the Olympics there, or c) Gone With the Wind.  Strangely, someone realized it was near Nashville, and apparently, those are the magic words here.  Heather, you would be very popular.  Everyone at the pub kept talking about Kings of Leon, who by the way, are ridiculously popular.  I love the new album too, but I heard "Sex on Fire" and "Use Somebody" at least 10 times yesterday in various locations (once sung by a drunk kid on the street).  Oh, and they were on Jools Holland.  Which I love.

3. People who are really from Manchester (Mancunians, or Mancs) pronounce my name oddly.  At home it's When-dee or Windy, but the locals apparently say "win-DEH".  It's really fast though.  I couldn't describe it without saying it, but trust me, it's cool.

4. Pasties (not something strippers wear) - little miraculous pastries filled with meat and potatoes or meat and cheese or something.  A lot like Hot Pockets but infinitely more delicious and calorie-filled.  See Mom, I'm totally eating when I have time.

5. No shoes are comfortable.  None.  Except for my trainers (tennis shoes).  Have you ever walked so much that your CHUCKS actually hurt your feet?  No, neither have I.  I noticed that all the girls here wear flats except at night (more on fashion later), and I know why.  Carrie Bradshaw may wear Manolos, but Big is so paying for her towncar. Yesterday, I wore my black ballet flats, and even they hurt my feet.  I walked all the way to City Centre to the sort-of mall place to find some comfortable shoes that didn't cost a fortune (double the price and that's what it is in dollars).  I tried on shoes at Topshop and Primark and all the department stores and half a dozen shoe stores, and I was about to cry because every single pair hurt.  Between having bizarrely narrow feet and not being used to walking so much in general, I was at a loss for what to get.  Standing barefoot on the floor felt better.  I very nearly went into the Crocs store, and anyone who knows me knows how I feel about those.  Anyway, I used to make fun of my mom for wearing what I deemed to be "old lady shoes" (i.e. really comfortable but not very attractive), but when I saw the Clarks shoe store, it was like a beacon of hope in a dark, uncomfortable world (okay, that's a little melodramatic, but it's how I felt).  I saw a couple of pairs that were actually sort of cute and had not much heel and had cushion in the bottom, and when the lady asked me what size I needed, I said "the one that doesn't hurt".  She laughed and when I explained my situation, she said, "I've got a few nice pairs in patent (pay-tent) that don't look like your mum's shoes, and since you've come all the way from America, I'll even give you an extra 10% off."  I almost hugged her.  When I tried them on, it was like wearing bedroom slippers.  Ahhhh.  "Helen", the saleslady, came back with a little matching purse and said, "You look like you're carrying sooch a heavy bag, and a smaller one might keep you from hurtin' s' much, luv".  She sounded like my mom, but she appealed to me that the matching bag was on sale if I bought the shoes, so I didn't argue.  They were more expensive than I was planning to spend, but it was totes worth it.  I wore my little gray pay-tent mary janes all the way home, even though they didn't match my outfit, and frankly, I didn't care.   

6.  For my beer-drinking readers, they don't call it beer here.  I use beer as a blanket term for anything with foam in a pint glass, but I have been corrected at least 20 times. "Nuh, luhv, it's bitt-uhs yoor wantin'."  (Mancs drop the "g" on the end of any word.)  Ale, lager, cask(?), "stoot", bitters, anything but beer.  They don't care if you call it the wrong one (they assume you're drunk anyway), just don't call it beer.  I should've paid more attention when Richard and Matt and Dave were talking about brewing.  

An open letter to the Queen

Madam,

My sincerest apologies to you for the unnecessary discomfort you have no doubt suffered from due to the appointment of a royal warrant to Kimberly-Clark Limited.  If the seal of royal appointment on the package of Andrex toilet tissue is to be believed, this is the very toilet tissue that you may be currently using.

If I may elaborate further, Andrex toilet tissue is manufactured for your use by Kimberly-Clark.  This same company produces the facial tissue, Kleenex, for which I have nothing but high praise.  In the United States, I have become accustomed to high quality toiletries, one of which is packaged and advertised exactly the same way as Andrex, only in the United State, it is branded as Cottonelle.  The paleography of the brand name and the infantile canine on the outer packaging is identical.  Even the advertising slogan, "Be kind to your behind", is on both products.  However, inside the package, there is a marked contrast in the quality between Andrex and Cottonelle.

As your humble servant, I submit to you that you have been using inferior toilet tissue.  In the United States, Cottonelle is a soft, cloth-like 3-ply toilet tissue with a rippled surface.  A variation of the Cottonelle brand even has added aloe to help soothe irritated skin.  However, upon my arrival at one of your country's finest Universities, I discovered that although Andrex is cleverly packaged and promises the same things as Cottonelle, it is definitely not the same product.  Andrex is coarse, cheaply manufactured and only 2-ply!  

I have no doubts that Your Majesty was unaware of the inferiority of this toiletry product.  I leave it to your discretion whether to force importation of the superior Cottonelle, or in the extreme, revoke the Royal Warrant and ban all Kimberly-Clark toiletry products from the whole of United Kingdom.  

I have the honour to be, Madam, Your Majesty's humble and obedient servant,

Wendy M. Tarpley

Update on Dr. Egg

Here are pictures that some of you required...I still can't believe Anna was wearing makeup!  In the picture around the naked baby are: my cousin Jessica (a neonatal nurse at the hospital) doing something to him, my Aunt Annolene talking to Ed, Cory (proud papa) holding Big Sister Sally (who, at that point, was kind of underwhelmed by him).  Apparently, my mom went to visit the other day, and Sally said, "Where's his Mama?  When is his Mama coming to get him?"  They watch other peoples' babies, so Mom and Anna had to try to explain that Ed was their baby and no one was coming to get him.  :)

Weekend

I've been meaning to update this since Sunday, but somehow it's Tuesday, so here goes my brief synopsis of the weekend.  I've decided to just highlight key words and let you figure out what actually happened.  Feel free to make it more/less interesting according to your preference.  Kind of like reverse Mad Libs.

Saturday: pub, quiz, karaoke, German guys (Hannes, Felix, Alex and Jan), dance, Academy Club, Britpop, sleep

Sunday: church, lunch!, city tour, party restaurant, salsa lessons (with Dutchman named Thijs), foam party, ruined Howlies shirt, God bless McDonald's

Monday: faculty* orientation, supermarket finally, meeting with tutor*, compulsory fire safety seminar, enrollment

Here are some picture of my church, Holy Trinity Platt, whose worship was pretty much identical to CCP except the church is prettier, and everyone has an accent.  Also, they had lunch, which was awesome since I still hadn't had time to go to the supermarket.

There are also some picture from the City Tour.  I apologize if they're wobbly.  We were on a coach bus, so we kind of just passed things.

The church built by the "Lord of the Manor" after he was excommunicated in 1215 for...signing the Magna Carta.  The pope agreed to forgive him as long as he built a church.  It was one of the only buildings in Manchester to get through the Christmas blitz of Manchester in 1940 unscathed, and the tour guide (a 70's-ish woman named Kay) was quick to point out how remarkable that was.

Manchester was the site of the beginning of the Industrial Revolution, and it was the first city in England to use trains for public transportation and is the site of the beginning of the Railway Age.  This is the first public train terminal in the world, built in the mid-1800's.

This is Ordsall Hall, a Tudor manor where, reportedly, Guy Fawkes planned the gunpowder plot to blow up James I, the royal family and the aristocracy by blowing up the House of Lords on the Opening Day of Parliament.  He did not succeed, but instead, he was drawn, quartered, and hanged.  November 5 is still Guy Fawkes Night, and it's apparently a big deal in Manchester, and everyone tries to burn effigies in front of the house, thus the fence.

Here I am at Salford Quays (where they let us get out and eat - it was a 3 hour tour).  Salford is northwest of Manchester, but there's only one street that differentiates them.  The cities here aren't like in the US, it's really city upon city upon town upon city on and on.  You're in a different town (all in the county of Greater Manchester) about every 4 or 5 bus stops.  Kay kept saying the name of the body of water I'm in front of, but it took me awhile with her accent to figure out that it's the Manchester Ship Canal.  I'll let you guess what I thought it was.

I didn't get a picture of Old Trafford (the stadium is ENORMOUS), but I did get a picture of the pub next door, which looks like the right kind of pub.  Apparently, lots of people go there to watch Manchester United.  Kay stressed to us numerous times that Manchester United was bought by Americans and was the most popular football team in the world, but if the people of Britain decided to stop going to the games (strike that, matches), the Americans would lose all their money.  She and the bus driver were also obvious fans of Manchester City, as are apparently most of the other residents of Manchester that I've come across.

And finally, for my beer-loving compadres, The Royal Brewery.  No, Boddington's isn't made in Manchester anymore, they closed that (and per Kay, made a lot of folks seriously angry). Scottish & Newcastle (who, says Kay, were just bought by Heineken/Carlsberg and created some sort of beverage monopoly in Europe) bought the Royal Brewery (shown) and while they used to produce Harp lager here, now it is the home of Foster's and San Miguel.

Oh, and for the curious, here are a couple of photos of my dorm room.  It looks kind of small, but it's actually pretty roomy (well, except when you're practically showering on top of the toilet).  The closet is practically empty!  Now what am I going to do about that?

*Faculty - not the people who teach the classes at school, it's the division that your department is a part of i.e. mine is the Faculty of the Humanities.  Tutor - unfortunately not someone who assists you with your homework, your Tutor is the advisor for your degree program (in my case, Dr. Szechi - who taught at Auburn for 15 years).

I've Arrived!

 
 
Well, I made it.  Here's the condensed version (which would have been longer, but I didn't have internet until today):

The flight/travel:  I didn't cry!  My dad got really choked up when I was getting on the shuttle, and I almost lost it, but I didn't.  The flight to Chicago was short and uneventful, and the flight over here to Manchester wasn't terrible.  I knew I wasn't going to sleep (I don't sleep on anything that moves, really).  I did manage to snooze for about an hour, but the guy sitting next to me had a seizure.  He just started shaking, so I ran and got a stewardess.  He threw up on himself, and then kept fading in and out of consciousness, so they gave him some kind of medicine and oxygen, and I ended up changing seats.  We were supposed to arrive at 8:05, and we got here an hour early.  No problems at Border Entry.  It took almost 2 1/2 hours to get to the school's shuttle, wait for it to get there, get to accommodation, and get my room keys.  By that time, I was ready to pass out, but it was time for:

Orientation:  Very informative.  Lots of stuff about banking, safety, health, registering, etc.  Here's what I learned:  a) Don't walk alone at night through dark alleys or carry lots of cash, b) You have to walk a lot, and c) the University doesn't really tell you, but everyone expects you to have a mobile* phone.  My cell doesn't work here at all.  I planned to use Skype and do without one, but I don't see how I can.  They give you all these numbers to call on campus if you have problems with anything, but there are 0* phones for you to use ANYWHERE without walking a block to a pay phone.  What if I'm in my dorm, and someone falls down the stairs, and I need to call the A&E*?  I guess I have to steal their mobile because they'll obviously have one.  Our rooms don't even have phone jacks.

My accommodation:  Very secure, a little bigger than I thought it would be.  I live in a flat (share a hallway and a kitchen with) a guy from Greece, a guy from Nigeria, and a girl from Taiwan.  I guess they want to give us a global experience.  I'm actually very appreciative of where I live because a couple of other Americans I've met live really far away, and my hall is smack in the middle of everything.

Cuisine:  I ate my first curry with Miss Penny (the sole person I knew in Manchester before I came here) last night.  It was absolutely divine and nearly burnt my lips off.  I didn't really realize until I started eating it that I hadn't had anything but coffee, two biscuits*, and a Turkish delight* since Thursday's breakfast on the plane.  I'm actually eating the leftovers this morning for breakfast (Mom, if you're reading this, I swear I'm going to the supermarket today, and I will eat.  I have enough money, I just haven't had time.).

Other Stuff:  I met two Americans and a French person yesterday.  There aren't many Brits around until tomorrow since only internationals were checking in before.  I joined the international society, and they take little day trips, so I'm going on a day trip to the Lake District (to see Beatrix Potter's house) next Sunday and Edinburgh overnight in October for really cheap.  I also may teach and English class for them because the director thought it would be funny that someone from the US with such a "terribly Southern accent" should teach English.  I got discount tickets for my first shows here at the Student Union:  The Ting Tings and The Fratellis!  The View just announced a UK tour, and the Manchester show is already sold out.  Nice.  I guess I'll never get to see them.  Although if I see them on the street, I'll probably punch them in the face.

FINALLY, a sign that I am meant to be here: I got on the flight to Manchester, and guess who was on the cover of the in-flight magazine?  Queen Madge, herself.  It is destiny.

* Mobile is pronounced MOH-byle. 

   0 - this number is "zed" not zero.  

   A&E - Accident and Emergency (an ER, reached by dialing 999).  

   Biscuits - unfortunately just cookies and not the Southern kind, and definitely not my mom's.

   Turkish Delight - This gelatinous sort of pink candy covered in chocolate which is yum-may        (and I first heard of in the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.  It was how the bad queen got        to Edmund.  By giving him candy.).

Attached are pics of:  the airplane, the view from my room, the train station where I went to IKEA (all by myself I might add), and the magazine cover that confirms my location.

Doctor Egg

I couldn't post twice yesterday, and I wanted this under another heading.  My cousin, Anna, had a baby yesterday.  They decided to be surprised and not find out the sex of the baby beforehand.  I think that's actually really fun, but I don't know if I would have the willpower.

I don't have any brothers or sisters, so my cousins are kind of it.  We were all raised together and they all still live in/near Perry.  Anyhoo, with the other cousins' babies, I found out by phone on a) the way home from the beach, b) at college between classes, and c, d and e) at the office in Atlanta.  I was so excited to actually be there for the birth.

The baby was either going to be Suzy Anna or Edward Weston Barnett.  I had a big hunch that it would be a boy, mostly because Suzy is my very favorite girl's name.  Everyone swore Anna was carrying a girl, but I had a dream right before Easter that Anna had a little boy, and it was shortly thereafter that they told everyone they were pregnant.

Anyway, Ed Barnett (future mayor of Perry or realtor) was born yesterday (ha ha!) at 2:20 pm, weighing in at 5 lbs 10 oz.  He was 19 1/4 inches long.  He looked so sweet and started sucking his thumb immediately.  He looks a lot like his big sister, Sally, did when she was that tiny.  

Anna looked beautiful, and I'm fairly sure she was wearing lipstick and makeup the entire time. I choked up and had to walk/look away several times because it breaks my heart that I won't get to watch him do all of those great baby things.  But when he's 25 (and I'm 50!), I'll be able to say: "Ed, I remember when you were born.  Everyone was sure you were a girl, but I knew that you were a boy!"  

Big Sister Sally was there, and she misunderstood when we told her that baby Ed was seeing the doctor, and she could see him in a minute.  She called the baby "Doctor Egg", which, in our family, means that will probably be his nickname for time immemorial.

My younger cousin, Lauren, is also having a baby in November, so I'm pretty sad that I won't meet Savannah Grace until next year.  I'll post some pictures of Baby Ed as soon as I get them.

Just Another Day in the...Cemetary?

Okay, so I don't have a whole lot to do here. I've been working on my family tree again, and I'm severely lacking on information about my paternal grandmother's side of the family.

Yesterday, my dad drove me to Wilkinson County to see his aunt and uncle. He showed me the now kudzu-covered house where he grew up, and the sawmill where his grandfather worked. I saw the abandoned movie theatre that his uncle ran.

Then, we drove another 30 miles away from civilization, past Irwinton (county seat of Wilkinson County and home of Maebob's Diner, a fairly typical small town meat and well, two). We finally turned off the "main highway" (a two lane winding affair) onto Poplar Springs Church Road, going to, you guessed it: Poplar Springs Church (and its cemetary).

My dad's grandpa, James Bartow Tarpley, and his wife, Ella Cook Tarpley were buried there. What I was not prepared to find, nor was my dad even aware of, was that all of his extended family was buried there. At least three quarters of the headstones belonged to VanLandinghams or Tarpleys.

I wanted to read the marker for the little white clapboard church next to the cemetary, and here's what it said: "Poplar Springs Methodist Church - Deeded by Fulton Kemp to the Trustees: Jesse Peacock, Wilty Miller, Peter VanLandingham [my great-great-great-great-great grandfather], and Jethro Dean in 1825 for a Methodist Episcopal Church. Present Church built in 1859 by Edward J[ones] Tarpley [my great-great-great grandfather]."

It will not surprise my friends that I was absolutely elated to discover this! Then, we sort of broke into the church (the door was unlocked, but it had one of those metal latches), and I took a picture. I also decided that I want to get married there, in the middle of nowhere, in a church that was founded and built by my people, my family. It was kind of a revelatory experience, made even more meaningful by the fact that I'm going to be so far away so soon. I felt kind of like in GWTW when Scarlett figures out that everything else is totally meaningless except for land, only in my case, it's not land, it's family.

The pictures are of the church and some of the headstones, including those of the two women who gave me my pseudonym (Ella Serepta), if I should ever become a rockstar/folk singer/romance novelist and choose to change my name.

Back in Perry

I'm currently stuck in a flashback.  I had to try to explain to my mom what wifi was, then I had to figure out where in Perry had free wifi.  A bunch of my friends from high school have opened a Christian bookstore/coffeehouse in downtown Perry, so I sit here.  It was here or the Waffle House I think, and the WaHo doesn't give out free cups of coffee.

Here are a few reasons I love Perry (this is the only thing keeping me here):

1. my very loud family

2. it doesn't change much

3. fresh vegetables

4. I know people.  I have people here.

5. The picture above.  Taken near my house.  It is so beautiful here that I don't even notice the mosquitoes.  Well, almost don't notice them.