Classic Dad

My dad is suspicious to a laughable extent.  He's basically a "danger" hypochondriac if that even exists.  He does not/will not have a debit card because he thinks that makes him a target for fraud.  He won't do anything that requires him to give out his social security number (this includes finally getting high speed internet - which will likely be hacked into for his identity at any moment).  I taught him and my mom how to use Skype and bought them a webcam, but he refuses to download the software because it looks dangerous.  Basically, if you combined every Dateline or 60 Minutes or 11 o'clock news warning segment, my dad is the one who believes all of that.

My friend Scott has realized the humour (OMG! I just spelled that with a "u" automatically!) in it, and constantly says my dad's favorite phrase: "You don't have any business __________."  This blank could literally be anything.

Yesterday, I called home to see what was going on, and my dad's cooking lunch (which makes it about 5:30 here).  We have the natural conversation about how it's freezing there and how school is etc.  Then, here is a brief transcript:

Dad: So what are you up to, kid?

Me: Not much.  I'm going to a friend's house tonight to put together the shoeboxes for kids in foreign countries.  Then, I'm going to a show.

Dad: By yourself?

Me: Yes.

Dad: You don't need to be going out after dark by yourself.  If you don't have someone to take you places, you just need to stay inside after dark.  You don't have any business going out after dark.

Me: Dad, it gets dark at 4:30 here.  It's been dark for over an hour.

Dad: No, it doesn't.  You're not that far north.

Me: Yes dad, we're even with Greenland or Canada.

Dad: Well, you don't need to go out.  You just need to be careful.

I know it's supposed to be sweet and fatherly concern, but it's really funny because he probably thinks that Manchester really is so dangerous that I need to stay in and not go anywhere every night after dark.  Except maybe church.  He'd probably be okay with that.